So drunk its hurt
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
