i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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