when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
