I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
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How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
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I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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