If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
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He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
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It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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