i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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