You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
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Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
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She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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