Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
