So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
