but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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