my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he quoted the bible to break up with me
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Randomize
