So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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