porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
