Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
