You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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