i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
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I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
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Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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