I think im going to throw up on grandma
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize