Ketchup is God's man juice
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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