matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
