Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My butt remains clenched, sir.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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