my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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