you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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