I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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