I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
