Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
