Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
