I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
