lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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