It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
