I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
