think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
