We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
