marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
