I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Porn is love you can see.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
