I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
