Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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