Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
