Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
