You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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