There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
