So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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