so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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