My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We don't watch enough power rangers
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
