Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
