It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
