haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
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No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
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Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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