When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
one might say we're banned from that church
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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