He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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