You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
