I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
