And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
There's even glitter on my cock...
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