I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
