Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
