She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
