I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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