I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
