I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize