consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize