alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
