SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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