I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Randomize
