You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
