so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
