i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
