New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
